Coaching NLP



Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP for short is an excellent way to increase the amount of rapport you experience with yourself and with others. The reason is simple: by understand how other people’s brains work, you can then communicate with them in a way which ensures that the both of you connect.

When it comes to coaching NLP, this is probably the technique teachers cover the most with their students. So in this article, we are going to learn how you can use Neuro-Linguistic Programming to connect and get what you want from people.

What is Rapport?

Rapport sits at the heart of NLP. It isn’t something which can be faked. Basically, it’s an ingredient which leads to successful relationships with family, friends, and even total strangers. You don’t have to like someone to build rapport with them. As a matter of fact, you don’t even have to know how they are. Connecting with anybody is very simple if you understand the concepts and principles behind NLP.

Recognizing Rapport

Have you ever gotten along with someone so well, that there seemed to be an infinitely strong connection bonding the two of you together? Maybe it was with someone of the opposite sex- maybe it was a friend or a relative. Either way, did it feel extremely effortless to speak and connect with one another?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you were experiencing heavy rapport with that individual. On the flipside, have you ever had a moment when you completely couldn’t’ get along with someone? In this scenario, it was very clear that rapport was not there.

Basic Rapport Building Techniques

When coaching NLP, teachers like to use a variety of methods to help students connect with one another. Rapport is an essential foundation for building any kind of meaningful relationship so it is important that you understand how to create this connection with other people. You can build rapport through any of the following:

  • Values
  • Skills
  • People
  • Places
  • Behavior
  • Purpose

These all play a crucial role in helping you develop rapport with other people. For example, you can use your similarities to further increase the connection you have with that person and ultimately create stronger, longer lasting relationship.

Here are some ways you can increase the amount of rapport you experience with others:

  • Show genuine interest in other people. Care about their well-being and support their goals.
  • Learn about them before you ever try to make them learn about yourself. This simple technique builds a tremendous amount of connection with people.
  • Pick on their behavioral patterns (verbal cues, favorite phrases, etc.) and remember them. Then incorporate them into your own conversations as a way to build rapport with other people.
  • Breathe when they breathe. As silly as it sounds, breathing in unison is a very effective way to sub-consciously connect with anyone.
  • Respect their values. Do you like it when people look down at your core values and beliefs? Off course you don’t. You shouldn’t do this to other people either. Instead, show respect for their passions. They will do the same in return.

Signs That Someone is Breaking Rapport

There will be times when someone mismatches another person in the interaction and temporarily breaks rapport. This can be done intentionally but usually it’s caused by a person who isn’t very socially savvy. Anyways, “mismatching” is all about doing something different from the person you are interacting with in order to create some distance. For example, you could look or move your body away physically.

You could change the tone of your voice so that it no longer matches that of the person and/or group. Breaking rapport isn’t always bad. As a matter of fact, you probably do it all the time- after saying “Hi” to a stranger on the subway, purchasing something, or walking away from someone who is being obtrusive. Breaking rapport is essential if you no longer feel like you are connecting with the other person in the interaction or if you have to be somewhere else.

Helping You Determine Your Destiny

Chris T Atkinson 🙂
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